Monday, December 11, 2006
6:14 PM
Couple of jokes i found on the net
ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.
GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
Asuccessful woman is one who can find such a man.
HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him alittle.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try tounderstand her at all.
LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lotmore willing to die.
PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
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It was the day of the big sale. Rumors of the sale (and some advertisingin the local paper) were the main reason for the long line that formedin front of the store by 8:30, the store's opening time.
A small man pushed his way to the front of the line, only to be pushed back, amid loud and colorful curses. On the man's second attempt, he was punched square in the jaw, & knocked around a bit, and then thrown to the end of the line again.As he got up the second time, he said to the person at the end of the line, "That does it! If they hit me one more time, I'm not opening the store!"
